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By making it an issue about her appearance, you've completely sidestepped teaching your son a valuable lesson: his discomfort alone is enough reason to assert himself or seek help from you in shutting this stuff down in your own home. He was wronged, you've just completely missed giving him the words to understand and explain exactly how. Instead of calling Kathy old and ugly, you could have called her behaviour out as unwelcome and predatory. Your son needs to know that even if a young, attractive woman repeatedly made unwelcome advances towards him, it would still be just as wrong. Otherwise you're accidentally perpetuating the idea that, if it was a young and attractive woman, it would be welcome no matter what because (implicitly) men always want sex from anyone attractive enough. That is antiquated and damaging bullshit. It also gives Kathy no reason to assess her behaviour, but I won't really count that since teaching her not to be a predator shouldn't be your job.


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