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I'm going to go with NTA. It would probably have been better to say sternly "Kathy, that's enough. Stop it or leave my house" and leaving her appearance out of it. However, your comments were in the context of her sexually harrassing your barely legal child who is less than half her age, and I'm having a hard time sustaining any outrage because you were a little snarky slapping down her exploitive and inappropriate behavior. Your wife is wrong. It is not better because she is a woman and your son is a man. Sexual harrassment and preying on the fact that younger people often don't have experience shutting down inappropriate advances, particularly from someone connected to their parents or in some authority or authority-adjacent position, is always wrong. The gender of the perpetrator and victim are irrelevent, and if she has a tendency to behave in a sexually inappropriate and aggressive manner when drinking then she should never drink.

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